The Third Culture Kids: Global Nomads

“A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture(s). Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background. ”

Who is a global nomad? A global nomad is an individual who, spending a significant part of their developmental years in another culture, develops some sense of belonging to both the host culture and the home culture, while not having a sense of total ownership in either. Elements from both (or multiple) cultures are blended, resulting in the third culture.

Third Culture Kids <--- My kids are one of them. I have a Filipino culture, they we're born in another country where I lived for 15 years, now moved to a different country and will continue to do so in the next 20 years or so.

I have been reading articles about TCK and found out that there are many factors and advantages belonging to this group. Most TCK kids who have survived the countless transitions from birth til adulthood have embraced the lifestyle and determined to pass it on to their kids. Few of this people I met earlier in the workshop sponsored by the International School where my kids go. They we're sharing experiences on how restless they become when they get back to their country of origin. They explained the difficulty of relating to their local friends and how shallow the relationship is.

I will buy the book and read more on it, just for me to be able to help my kids get through this stage of their life. Afterall, it's my solemn duty to guide and raised them the best that I can :)

The calm after the storm

It's been half a year since my last blog. Time stood still in this pages while I weathered the storm with great courage and lots of patience. I didn't really noticed it that long and I never even get the chance to log in during that time. Lots of funny incidents and interesting stories to tell ,but where do I start?

Let me give you a short review of what had happened since then. After the birth, I got busy preparing for the next move. Few months afterwards, we're trying to settle in ... in this strange place. Put the kids into new school, registered with health clinics, try to search for a perfect place to settle in at least for a couple of years. Next thing is finding foods that are available, adapting to new weather and surroundings. Blending in with the crowd, expats and local alike. Building social circles for everybody,from teens to tots. Then came the burden of adjusting to living conditions - pollution, traffic, illness etc. Everyone suffered from culture shock and homesickness. Having troubles communicating and expressing yourself due to language barrier. Life's been full of adventure for the last six months. Stressed out and exhaustion are the most common thing for me. The only consolation I have is that nobody got sick , thank God!

Now it seems that we are slowly settling in. The atmosphere at home is more relaxed. I, for sure, am beginning to love the calm after the big storm :)

About Marriage

This is a very good article. read it.
Those who are still single may learn something from here....
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
marriage....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
"It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"


Let me answer this question because the chances are
good that it's weighing on your mind.


Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.


Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.


People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the
imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.


Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.


The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.


At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their
spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for
fulfillment.


Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.


But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):



THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.


Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.

Chaos at dinner time ...

Dinner time is always fun. With all the members of the family sitting and feasting on a great meal. Foods are served freshly cooked and steaming hot. In the midsts of the munching are conversations that will make you laugh and choke at the same time. Here goes....

M : Wow! Wat dat ? (pointing at a hot bowl of food , M is 2 yrs. old n just started talking)
Me : it's a smoke M ...
K : Mum ... it's condensed water vapor !
Me : K , i think that term is too complicated for M to speak, too long and technical
K : okay then ... M say ssstteeaammm !
Me : In my thoughts ...." i always get corrected "

M refuse to say steam so K with his perseverance managed to make M speak the words " condensed water vapor", without knowing what it means of course :)

I'm learning !!!

My daughter invited her bestfriend to a sleep over tonite but her parents didn't allow her. Instead, they allowed her to spend the rest of the afternoon and eat dinner with us. So as soon as they arrive from school they didn't waste a single moment, they change from school uniforms to swimwears and jump in the pool. After an hour in the pool, they came up dried themselves up and went online. In the meantime, I was in the kitchen busy preparing food for dinner when I overheard their conversation (kitchen door is open).

• Xn : "Wow! your mom's cooking smells good"
• Pi : "she's a very good cook"
• Xn : "Your lucky she cooks, my mom doesn't know how to cook"
• Pi : "Really? Who cooks in your house?"
• Xn : " My Dad, my auntie (helper) and me I'm learning!"
• Pi : "I'm learning too!!"

I cannot help but comment .."Really, since when did you have the mood for cooking?".She gave me a sharp look so I decided to just shut it ....

Few months ago before I gave birth to my youngest one, she declared herself the Princess of the house. Everytime you ask her to do something may it be a favor or a command she refuse to respond to it. She always say this line - " I don't do chores I'm a princess".

Now I guess is the perfect timing to train her in the kitchen. Maybe I can take advantage of this show off thing and teach her few things around the house. if she refuse I can always say "You said you're learning".

Changes ...

It's been more than a month since my last blog .The last time was when I gave birth to my little angel. She was just a few days old and it was during my few days stay in the hospital while I was recovering from a surgery. Since then I got my hands full day and night. Life has been good to me lately and I'm just so grateful of all the blessings that have been given to me. I am now back to my old self (well almost). Working on a new project and preparing for the big move (to another country). Yes, once again entering another big change in my life. I like change, change is good and I'm very excited about it. I'm excited for my teens joining a new school and my tots for their new playgroup, my husband for his new workplace and for me ... new adventure.
Amidst all these excitement, I'm also feeling nostalgic for leaving. This place where I've spent fourteen years of my so called life. This place taught me lessons in life that I will never have gotten otherwise if I didn't get out of Manila. Things that will help me and prepare me for the next half of my life ( you do the math ). This place that I have learned to love for these past few years (yeah just few years ago, I use to hate it before). This place where I learned to be independent and valued my selfworth. This place where I met my husband, gave birth to my children, build my circle, where I have attained and accomplished a career just to quit and pursue a more rewarding job - to be a mother and a wife. This place that served to be my playground. Aaaaahhhh! this place ... I will miss it big time, but I can always come back .. yes I will and I have to for some important reasons.
I'm anxious about the move, about the new place. Mostly because I have kids and I fear for their welfare. You see that is the mother in me talking like any typical mother that aims to protect her children. This restlessness is adding another wrinkle on my face but then again it's also my age. Nowadays, I worry about my children and their needs more than my Versace sunglasses or crystal wine glasses. Maybe because there are so many changes in such a short period. The new baby, the move, my son have his first pimples outbreak, my tot is now a chatterbox, my hairdo's straight and new wrinkle lines, my bestfriend with her new image -silicones,tummy tuck andVictoria Beckham hairdo. Hahaha!

Little Angel

Today she enters this world ....

The doctor sigh..."You don't look like a baby, you look like a Prime Minister ..my goodness"

For me ...she's a little angel ......

My Heart

Just when I started believing that there’s no more chance finding a perfect guy /relationship …. our paths have crossed …. I met my bestfriend, the greatest lover and the best husband in the world.

Dearest Mahal,

You have been my all time favorite Valentine’s date ever since you miraculously transformed from morning sickness-sufferer into a Goddess back in Taipei….

It seems that every other Valentine’s Day you are pregnant – but ravishing as ever nonetheless! I’m looking forward to spending today’s and every future Valentine’s Day to come with you. I love you so much, Mahal !!!

Signature

It was written inside the card in a bouquet of pink tulips, big enough to cover my big tummy as I carry it on our way to the restaurant.

Love … is a many splendoured thing, Happy Hearts Day !!!

Life is Good

A lush vegetation, rolling hills and the sea surround us. So far, I could not think of a better place to live. This peninsula once was nothing but jungle. Legend has it that pirates operated from here. Colonization, world war, occupation and liberation followed. Today the ancient fishing village is a major tourist attraction. A scenic stripe of land at the end of a vast country. In this sense I am living on the edge.

The beach is right around the corner. So is the coffee shop and the flea market. There is a church, a police station and a few other low rise buildings. Sounds like your typical village in the middle of nowhere? Well not exactly. Millions of people live just a short bus ride away. A busy metropolis lurks on the other side of the hills - which is both a curse and a blessing.

Let's start with the good things. A brand-new seaside promenade. Restaurants (indoor and al fresco) offering international cuisines and sea views. A few beautifully restored historical buildings. Colorful temples and sand beaches. Hiking trails with breathtaking views from hill tops. Bargain hunting at the flea market. A library and a bookshop. Indoor and outdoor playgrounds for kids. Easy means of transpo like buses and cabs. Quiet weekdays.

Every weekend, however, things get hectic. Not only inside but also outside of the house. All family members are at home and the entire world flocks to this village. Streets are flooded with hordes of tourists and beachgoers. Not to mention water sports fanatics roaming with either a billabong short or speedo (yuck!), sweaty hikers and Lance-Armstrong-wanna-be-cyclists taking a coffee break from their activities, picnic goers flooding the isles of supermarkets for BBQ items. Local residents go to church, parade of lovers, kids, and dogs. Some visit inmates in nearby prisons.

The lazy frog hated weekends and holidays. She longs for Monday where she can have peace and quiet and the serenity she deserves. With the empty street, spacious supermarkets, coffee house and other facilities plus a quiet house (husband and kids are away during the day except for my cute little tot – well, he’s amusing ) LIFE IS GOOD. Don’t you agree?

Until the next weekend frenzy that is…

A Diva Sunglasses

I finally got a new Versace DIVA sunglasses. A cure from months and months of mourning for losing one of my most treasured sunglasses (Versace’s jewelled metal frame). I bought it in one of those duty free shops at the airport while waiting in vain for a delayed flight (Bahh!! The advantage and disadvantage of airport shopping malls). I was walking around when a glitter caught my sleepy eyes, next thing you know I’m trying to bargain for a discount and of course it didn’t work because bargain doesn’t exist in duty free vocabulary, it’s only for flea market. This sunglass traveled with me for a couple of years. I can wear it under the shining sun, on a cloudy day and even in the malls. It was one of the most important accessories in my life, like AMEX , I don’t leave home without it J.Until one Sunday morning, after attending mass, I left it for merely 15 minutesat the front shelve facing where I sat but when I went back it was gone ….kaput! My life has never been the same, I suffered from depression, disturbed sleep and even nightmares…yes it is very dear to me.

Yesterday my husband bought me the latest design and I’m so happy that I almost cried. You see, I’m one of those people who only buy things that are very useful (well to me it is) and I seldom see a thing or design that will suit my taste. That is why it took me almost a year to finally find a replacement for it. I was very excited that even if it was already dark (6:00 pm) I still put it on. At home, I wore it in front of the mirror while brushing my teeth before bedtime hehehe. Then, I placed it at the bedside table and bid goodnite to it before turning off the nite lamp. The next morning I went to the beach as soon as the sun rises and enjoyed the walk finally!

Falling Leaves...

Last night as I sat on the sofa quietly enjoying the tranquil of our home (kids just went to bed), I noticed the shedding of the trees right outside the huge windows that covers almost half of the living room. The trees serve as curtains that covers our floor to ceiling wide glass windows, especially during summer time when the sun shines so bright. The lamp post that is situated between the lush leaves is like a lighting effect of something that looks like a background in the movie. There is a melodramatic feeling watching the leaves being blown slowly away from the tree with the light in the background creating shadows with each leaf. There’s a certain chill in the air that suggests winter is coming. Reminding me to pack up summer clothings, open toe heels to say hello to boots and goodbye to well pedicured toes. I will have to rummage through my old winter clothes to find things that will still fit my ever growing belly otherwise I will be included in the winter shopping list this time J . Isn’t it nice to be always young, that stage where your body goes through so much changes that give you a reason to change wardrobe almost every season if the budget allows. Either way, your parents will have to provide these needs not just for vanities sake. Well, now I realize why my mother have to buy us one size bigger to cover up for at least few seasons…wise move!

The chilly air also reminds me that Christmas is just around the corner and with my hyperactive toddler roaming around, it will not be wise to put up a real tree this time or else it will be like autumn everyday at home (falling leaves due to his constant picking).

About Moi ...
The so-called life of the Lazy frog revolves mostly around the family – three kids, a husband, a nanny and a household full of adventure. A boy in his teens, smart and very curious about everything never runs out of things to ask. A conversation with him should end up satisfying or else the existence of my pea size brain is being questioned,thank goodness for encyclopedias and internet. A girl at the age of nine is the most critical, straightforward, sarcastic and non fearing little B…h! which makes me wanna pull my hair most of the time while listening to that devil in my head saying I am cursed for life! A toddler with one clear purpose in life – to mess up everything he touches. Also, it involves my super wretched (self inflicted ) bestfriend that never let a day passed by without her moaning about some small thing. The Lazy Frog in the meantime is bearing the fourth addition to this chaotic household ( God knows what kind of trouble this one brings). She finds solace from the husband, an extra hand and lots of patience from the nanny and relaxation by being lazy, well she’s entitled to it.